How To Coach Anyone Part Two - Working With Emotional Trauma (Level 1)Dec 29, 2022
In the last blog we talked about Level 0 consciousness, essentially not conscious, the primal self, survival.
This week the subject is Level 1 consciousness. These levels actually parallel evolutionary development, as you can see in your dog or cat, animals have emotions as opposed to (as far as I can tell), insects. Emotions developed as an evolutionary survival trait, so even if you don’t like them, recognize that we wouldn’t be where we are without them. They have many roles and serve to protect us in many ways. They create connection and even support altruism, the willingness to sacrifice ourselves for others.
Fear protects us from danger, sadness lets us know we have lost something and that we would like it back, anger gives us the energy and determination to right wrongs and assert ourselves. Shame and guilt keep us doing things that would harm ourselves, others, or group bonding. Emotions are only a problem when they are out of proportion to the situation. How do emotions get out of proportion with the situation?
That is where coaching at Level 1 comes in, we are working with the emotional body, the part of us that holds and feels emotions. Any time that we experience emotions that are more than we can feel or handle at that moment, we repress them and store them in our physical body and our nervous system, an evolutionary trait that allows us to function in very challenging or traumatic situations. This is where PTS comes in.
In our culture we were not trained to release these feelings after the event, our parents did not know how and they had their own repressed traumas. As coaches, when we are working with our clients we can lead them through the release of these trapped feelings and emotions. It is actually quite easy and straightforward, there are lots of trainings for how to support this, I teach this process as a part of Inquiry Method™ training, in my Life Coaching Academy. Find a training that inspires you, not only will it be great for your clients but will be life changing for you!
The most important thing to do for someone who needs to heal their emotional body is safety!!! Learning how to create safety is a skill and crucial for working with clients at this level. How can you tell that someone needs emotional release work?
They are in the state of emotional reaction to something, reason and thinking about the situation in new ways doesn’t work. No matter how much they can think about the situation rationally they can't act and feel rationally. Without trauma release no amount of coaching them on other ways to think about the situation will make a difference. They will keep repeating the same behavior.
This applies to any life changes they want to make that just don’t seem to be working. Behaviors that are hard to change, keep repeating, have emotional trauma behind them. Unhealthy relationship patterns, procrastination, weight loss and health activities, depression…, essentially any change that is truly wanted but the person is not able to change.
It is so satisfying to assist someone in this way, it is a bit like a magic pill, one moment things seem impossible and dark and the next moment the client can see the way forward clearly and easily.
Some major traumas from the past may have many aspects that need to be healed, it is kind of like having a patient that has been hit by a grenade. It is a wound with lots of shrapnel, you may have to go in many times before you get it all out, but it is really possible to be fully healed. My students are often amazed about how easily they are able to learn to do this and get amazing results with people.
Why do we want to heal emotional trauma? Because it takes so much away from our lives! I use another gross and disturbing metaphor for this. Having emotional trauma is like having a construction nail in your kneecap, while it is possible to ignore it for a few moments or survive, it is really distracting, it is hard to participate in life, laugh, have fun, or have a great relationship. As I talk about in my book Life at Altitude (insert link to amazon) the number one activity to living at altitude, living at higher levels of consciousness is addressing emotional pain.
As a coach, with this skill alone you can bring clients huge amounts of relief, help them make the changes they desire, heal their relationships, and succeed at their work. Put this at the top of your skills list as a coach. I am a master at this and a master at teaching others to do it. Consider checking out Life Coaching Academy to train with me as well as receive emotional healing work yourself, this program is the best training I know of and our students report major life changes themselves.
Warmest regards Kyle