How To Become a Great Coach: The Value of CollaborationJan 05, 2023
The Inquiry Method training we offer at Life Coaching Academy has all sorts of applications to every aspect of your lives.
A while back I went to a new dentist. About halfway through the cleaning, I asked her “how am I doing?” (Inquiry Method), she looked a little confused and said “you are doing fine” and then after a pause, she asked what I meant. I asked if I was being a skillful patient.
At first surprised, she became engaged; she said that she had never thought of it that way. I said that we were on the same team and working toward the same objective, clean teeth, speed, ease, accuracy, and connection. She said she wished all her patients saw it that way and suggested maybe I could train them.
When I train coaches, I train coaches in teaching their clients coachability, how to work and flow together skillfully. To get a good result as a coach you need to have great clients, many coaches feel trapped because their clients are difficult to work with.
The dentist is a great example of a moment of level 4 altitude; we were working at a task where we were both focused on the task together and putting our attention on that rather than on ourselves, what we were doing together was more important than individual concerns.
I was ignoring any inherent personal discomfort or concerns and putting as much attention on the task and flow as she was. In fact, my main job was to make her job easier and to be in flow together to get the best outcome. It is a much more satisfying way of being in the chair or in a coaching session. Every collaborative task can have this feeling and level of engagement, this is how we behave when we are in a collaborative level of consciousness, it is such a satisfying and productive way to be with others.
I love to coach people who are interested in this same level of collaboration. In Inquiry Method, the skills of coaching and being coached can be equally skillful activities. Some of the most satisfying moments in life come from the moments of deep collaboration in coaching, on both sides of the work, as a client and as a coach.
The other aspect of this insight is to look at the things you do with the perspective of doing them skillfully. Doing things skillfully does two things:
- 1. Doing things skillfully is almost like meditation, all your thoughts can be focused on the task or activity. There is true joy in being so engaged in your activity. Instead of being subject to your thoughts you are actually using them for what they are meant for.
- 2. Anything you focus on from the perspective of doing them skillfully you get better at, your body and mind learn to be more nimble and focused and you often have insights that develop your capacity.
I train people to be very skillful coaches. It is surprisingly accessible. The joy of doing work that you feel skillful at is one of the great joys of life. The whole purpose of Life Coaching Academy is to support you to experience a more fulfilling and joyful life. What you learn from us will apply to every aspect of your life, not just your coaching practice: work, play, games, housework, dancing, cooking, sex, communication, growth…, you will experience more satisfaction, fulfillment, and joy. Opportunities are all around us.